it's so strange how things do change.
i just, i can't help but keep having this bad feeling hanging over me most of the time. usually when i am alone, or in my room, or driving. it's so strange to just sit and think, "what is going to happen next?" for the past few months it seems like my mind is occupied with death. it scares me to no end, unfortunately. what scares me more is what happens after your hearts stops, after you're in the ground or burned into ashes. does your soul really go somewhere? does it just float out of your mouth and into the sky? do you live again? have i lived before? why the fuck am i so goddamn scared all of the time? honestly. this isn't a way to really live your life, you know? always worried about what is going to happen next. what's years and years away. all i know is that right now, i really do love where i am, i really do love who i have and who i'm with, and i really do appreciate it all. why can't that be enough? |
2008-02-28 at 7:37 p.m. |